Chemotherapy Day 5

Not sure if I could have handled being born in any other decade.

I’ve been spontaneously pulled out of my habitual routine and tossed into this surreal alternate where I have no choice but to adapt. The physical isolation in this hospital alone is nearly unbearable. But, like I said, living as an adolescent in any other time period would’ve made this enduring week an even more intolerable challenge. Without hospital wifi, 3G texting, imessage, facebook, instagram, twitter, facetime, I probably would’ve escaped through that tiny skylight in the corner of my room which taunts me with its blinding glow day in and day out.  I’ve spent 7 ½ days straight, living and sleeping in room 17, ward 4B (It’s beginning to resemble a less exciting university residence life).

The most physical exertion I’ve undergone while living here has been the 9 step journey to the washroom and back-it’s more likely that I’ve burnt most calories while typing. The hardest part of it all though, is that infuriating window that continues to mock me with the utmost stunning weather possible, during mid-October in Vancouver.

Technology, social media; It all helps cope with the physical isolation but the lack of encounter with the outdoors is maddening. So please, for my sake, and in ridicule of this infuriating window, go outside. If I can put a pause on my life for chemo, you can take a break and breathe in what looks like air crisper than the fumes from those scented car fresheners. Let me know how it feels, I look forward to breathing non-processed-hospital-air by this time next week.

-          Enraged by this restrictive glass window, but continuing to breed optimism J