Mid-Finish-Line

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As I creep closer to this seemingly illusive ‘Maintenance’ mark, I find myself growing more and more impatient. In my mind I’ve already started to act like I’m in recovery so as to prepare myself. But no matter what mental circumstance I put myself in, I am still days away from starting maintenance. In fact, that ‘finish’ date may even move further away.

Finishing up this phase of ‘inter-maintenance’ has been quite easy. Most drugs I’ve taken before and so my body recognises them and almost has a higher tolerance to them. Funny; how nice it would be if our bodies held this same reaction to the cancer cells. How much easier it would be if the more cancer cells attacked you, the bigger tolerance your body could build against them. How miraculous it’d be if after being attacked so many times by cancer, your body could simply recognise the foreign organisms and eventually resist their attacks. It’d be just as common as building our tolerance to alcohol. “Man, she can really hold her cancer eh?”

Stopping that train of thought before it runs too far ... But I have been quite lucky this phase with no seriously bad symptoms. The only problem I’ve had was catching a virus a couple days ago. It’s been pretty brutal fighting it off (I just feel like I’ve come down with a very bad cold). The biggest issue with this is that my ‘maintenance’ mark or ‘mid-finish line’ might have to be pushed back a bit, because I can’t start the next year and half phase unless my body and counts are back to “normal.”

Either way, I am doing everything I can to push through this virus and reach that beautiful ‘mid-finish line.’ I can almost hear it calling my name.

Breeding Optimism and impatiently waiting,

-          Serena Bonneville :)